It’s interesting to see what issues the media deems “newsworthy.”
They continue their hysterics over non-Russian collusion and claims that Michael Cohen pleading guilty to a non-crime is actually a crime.
Paul Manafort’s guilty verdicts on only eight of eighteen charges (all tax or banking related—not a mention of Russia, Trump, or collusion) were trumpeted as a vindication of Robert Mueller (how? No idea). They have no interest in the fact that Manafort, a 67-year-old grandfather with no criminal record—has been sitting in solitary confinement for 23-hours-a-day for MONTHS.
Yet, last week, bail was granted to the members of the Wahhaj family – the radical Islamists in a New Mexican compound who are charged with child abuse and teaching their children to be school shooters–all in the name of jihad. The media said nothing.
Also this week, it was revealed that college student Mollie Tibbetts was stabbed to death by an illegal immigrant – a Dreamer!
Yes, I know. It’s shocking. Some low-life scum who’d been in this country for seven years as a part of Obama’s catch-and-release quasi-amnesty program for illegal aliens was doing the stabbing of college students that normal Americans just won’t do.
The media also continues to ignore the real Russia collusion story–and that it’s on the Democrat side. It’s been rehashed to death and I’m not going to do it again.
I’m frustrated as a can be about the trashing of our justice system and the attempt at an ongoing, silent coup to take down President Trump. But as many of my Twitter followers trying to soothe me say – fear not. Trust the plan.
I had a real “trust the plan” epiphany in my personal life this week.
It was revealed that a former priest in Oklahoma City named Ben Zoeller had been formally accused of sexual assault by a man in Minnesota. The abuse “allegedly” (it pains me to have to use that qualifying adverb) occurred twice (with an attempted third assault) times in 1985.
While the Catholic Church at large continues to reel from the aftermath of decades of inaction, condoning, or denial of priest sexual abuse, this one hit close to home.
In 1985, Ben Zoeller became the pastor at St. Patrick’s Catholic Church in Oklahoma City. Before Ben arrived, St. Pat’s was the most wonderful parish I could imagine. I was very much involved with youth group and as a teenage lector. We all loved being there.
My mother was especially immersed in all sorts of ministries–St. Vincent De Paul, Catholic Charities, Birthright, Eucharistic Minister to the Sick, lector. Her life was that church.
And then Ben happened.
For my mother, there was something “off” about him from the start. She soon butted heads with him, as did I.
I personally found it extremely strange that he would give a group of teenagers a questionnaire which asked about masturbation habits. I remember feeling very conflicted as I filled it out. I thought, “What the hell is this?” But, because he was a priest and an authority figure I answered the questionnaire.
Little did I know then he wasn’t particularly interested in the girls’ answers. He wanted the boys’.
Over time, things just started to feel very strange. After awhile, people started coming to my mother with unbelievable stories about Ben. It was alleged that Ben would have teenage boys over to the rectory where his special “friend” Terry also lived. He would ply the boys with alcohol and do God knows what after that.
My mother was also told by another woman that her son locked himself into the bathroom and refused to serve Mass with Ben ever again – and if she made him do it, he would kill himself.
She witnessed Ben cornering altar boys backstage before and after Mass, and the look of fear and confusion on their faces were burned into her.
A close friend of mine at the time—a very good looking but troubled young man who seemed to be Ben’s favorite “pet”– was allowed to go on a “retreat“ with Ben to New Mexico. After the trip, Ben showed everyone all the pictures he had taken with the two of them—like a trophy. To this day, I do not know what actually happened between the two of them. I suspect the worst.
The church’s secretary told my mother Ben was embezzling money from the church’s “roof fund”—to the tune of $5,000/month for alcohol and cigarettes. He was also accused of stealing communion wine.
There was just an overwhelming feeling of unease and evil that had to set upon our parish community. My mother knew she had to do something.
So, buttressed with the stories people had told her and her own observations, she and a couple of other witnesses went to see now deceased Archbishop Charles Salatka to tell their stories.
The Archbishop listened to my mother and another priest took copious notes during the meeting.
Evidently, immediately after they left, a call was made to Ben. He was told everything that my mother said–and of course, he denied it all.
It didn’t take long for people to turn against my mother and my family, thinking we were troublemakers trying to take down a good man.
My mother visited her ailing father at his home. My Grandpa Tener was the most Christlike man I’ve ever known.
She was afraid.
She said, “Daddy, they’re going to crucify me.” And my grandfather–in his weakened state–pounded his fist on the bed and said, “Dammit, Margaret! If it’s good enough for Jesus Christ it’s good enough for my daughter. You do the right thing!”
And she did. The example of leadership and courage she showed me was invaluable.
The following Saturday night, my mother received a call from a close friend. She asked my mother if we had gone to Mass already. We had not. The friend said, “Margaret, do not ever go back to St. Pat’s. Father Ben got up on the pulpit and said you and your daughters were evil people trying to destroy him. I’ve known you for ten years—and even I almost believed him.”
After that day my family was shunned from St. Pat’s and we never went back.
I saw my mother’s heart break, and it devastated me. And it also made me so very, very angry.
To this day I have not found a parish where I feel as comfortable as I felt at St. Pat’s. Ben Zoeller ruined it for all of us. Shortly after we left, more and more families did as well–until there were no original parish families left at all.
Long gone are the days of community and happiness that we all felt.
After one old friend contacted me asking if I heard about the about the new allegations against Ben, I received another message from another old friend from the youth group. She said the victim who had recently written the letter to the archdiocese had reached out to her and wanted to know how to reach me specifically.
So: he and I began a conversation.
His story, while horrific, is sadly not very different from what I imagine happened to the young man I knew—and undoubtedly other victims.
These incidents had haunted him his entire life, and it was only twelve years ago that he was able to even start talking about it. Nobody—not even his mother–knew the massive burden he carried.
This is a pattern with many victims – especially older ones.
They think, “Why didn’t I stop this from happening?”
“Am I gay?”
“Why me? Why did he choose me?”
The guilt and shame can be overwhelming, and often debilitating.
When this now 49-year-old man wrote to the Archdiocese of Oklahoma City, the floodgates opened. Not only was he deemed credible, but it was then revealed that in 2002 – after Ben had been moved to yet another parish—he was defrocked over credible allegations of abuse. Pope Benedict officially excommunicated him from the Catholic Church in 2011.
However, shockingly, until just a few days ago, Ben had been volunteering at Sacred Heart Catholic Church on the south side of Oklahoma City! In fact, he had been known to still refer to himself–and be known as–“Father” Ben and even had his home decorated like the entrance of the Pastoral Center. He has now been banned from that parish as well.
I assume that for their entire lives, child molesters must count on fear, guilt, and shame to keep their victims silent.
I pray with all of my heart that coming forward gives this man some sort of peace. I hope that his courage will allow other survivors to tell their stories.
I pray to God that justice will be finally served for him and for all of Ben Zoeller’s victims.
Karma is real. And it’s coming.
When we discovered on our own that Ben was legally blind and had been excommunicated and defrocked, I figured that would be his karma. It turns out God has a little more in store for him.
The truth is the best disinfectant. And the Catholic Church desperately needs to be disinfected.
As for my family – it isn’t vindication we feel. It is righteousness and peace–that finally the light of truth is shining on what we tried to expose so long ago.
As we have all learned, sadly, this victim was not unique.
There are many states which have no statute of limitations on child sexual abuse. Unfortunately, Oklahoma is not one of them. Currently the statute of limitations for sexual abuse of a child is twelve years.
That needs to change.
Today, I finally watched the excellent 2015 Oscar-winning movie Spotlight– which told the true story of the Boston archdiocese’s cover-up of priest sexual abuse.
I had been reticent to watch the film because, ironically, even though I wasn’t a practicing Catholic, I was loath to promote something I thought would bash the Catholic Church.
I have since evolved on this issue.
From the start, I have known Ben Zoeller was not the only priest abusing children. Obviously, far from it.
Research suggests it could be as high as 6% of all priests. Sadly, the movie was eerily similar to what I witnessed at St. Pat’s and with Ben’s current accuser. The grooming of children; the excuses why a priest was moved so often—it all resonated.
Even after we reported him to the archbishop in/around 1986, he still stayed at St. Patrick’s until 1995.
Conclusion? They knew. They all knew.
My goal is to not to bash the Church. I still consider myself a Catholic. As my mother has often said – even if all the priests disappeared, we – the people – we are the Church.
We’ve already had one Reformation when German monk Martin Luther nailed his “95 Theses” to a church wall in 1517—and the Church was better for it.
It’s far past time for a second Reformation to cleanse this scourge from the priestly ranks, and to modernize the Church in a way that would make the Jesus Christ in which all Christians believe proud.
Shine the Light.
